Throughout All Randomness
by iamchole5
Summary: Reposted: Totally random crossover between HP and LOTR and other Random things that will appear. Please Read and Review!


Dumbeldore starts to clear his throat insanely (to begin his beginning-of-another-year-where-Harry-Potter-saves-us-all speech) and chokes. He is rushed to the hospital by Lupin, who turns into a werewolf when a bright blue neon Lucky Charms marshmallow moon appears in the chocolate- covered sky. Which was odd because it was broad daylight and all the little children had just eaten it the day before and it usually took 3 or 28 days for it to recover. Lupin was about to bite him when Dumbeldore began to mold. Deciding that yellow-purple mold was not the best Lupin ran toward the forest. But on his way he was pecked by the beaks of: flamingoes, emus, octopuses, lambs, ducks, leprechauns, and tiny monkeys throwing raisins at him. Lupin abandoned his mission to go into the forest for a new one: to make a how-to video on how to get drunk, high, insanely sugar high, and build an ice cube all at the same time.

Dumbeldore, still unconscious and dying, walks into the door that has just non-magically appeared behind him. Well, actually on top of him, slicing off his head which turned out to be a chia pet and grew back. The door he went through just so happened to lead into Middle Earth.

In Middle Earth...

Dumbeldore comes tumbling out of a pie-shaped portal.

"Hey! What are you doing here? Didn't they tell you we already have an old man?" Legolas points at Gandalf.

Gandalf smiles proudly.

X X - Dumbeldore

"Yeah, we already got a pretty boy elf, too."- Aragorn

"At least I care what I look like."- Legolas

Aragorn and Legolas go into a bunch of nah-uh's and yea-uh's back and forth which leads into to a cat fight that leaves Aragorn with a nail scratch on his forehead and Legolas with a paper cut even though they had no paper.

While all of this is going on Dumbeldore is STILL lying on the ground unconscious, choking, and twitching.

Pippin gets tired of looking at the old, moldy, dying gut and starts to push him back through the pie. All the sudden, Boromir pops out of a random pile of hair lying on the ground wearing woman's lingerie and shouts "PIE." He rushes toward the pie/portal and eats it as well as Dumbeldore's feet.

Dumbeldore, still unconscious, says "Merry Christmas."

"Hey Sam."- Frodo

"Yes, sweetie, I mean Mr. Frodo."- Sam

Frodo ignoring the...er... compliment. "Isn't it fascinating what old men can do while unconscious?"

Gandalf butting into the conversation as usual and popping out from inside the blue tree that had just been driven in on the back of a stretch limo. "Yes, it is quite a marvel."

Gimli having just eaten Miracle Grow which made him turn into a variety of elephants and apples and then shrinking slightly now leaving him at a whopping .04 inches says "Yes, yes 'tis." And getting that oh so evil glint in his eye. "I would like to see that in action." He goes to pick up his ax and hit Gandalf with it but due to his special size problem it instead levitates for a moment and lands and chops him in half. He then goes for simpler weaponry: Chinese throwing stars, firecrackers, his pretty floral dress, a hair tie, clock radios, glitter, leather gloves, and an orange. When all of this surprisingly does not work Pac-man shows up.

Pac-man does karate/ninja jumpy kick. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" and flies into bright orange cloud conveniently above him and as he does so the sky ripples.

Gimli now in one piece and back to his original size thanks to a Mario Mushroom says "So Gandy, you doin' anything Saturday night?"

Entire Fellowship minus Gimli, Gandy, Boromir who thinks he is still eating pie, Frodo who is trying to poke a star, Sam who is guarding his I LOVE FRODO shrine, Merry and Pippin who are smoking air and drinking shoe polish, Legolas who is brushing his hair and admiring himself in his life-size pocket mirror, and Aragorn who is dancing to unheard music and day-dreaming about Arwen having hair made out of bubble gum stare :0

Unfortunately Gandy was not able to respond to being hit on because he had just curiously wandered into the porthole. Or so you think...Dun Dun Dun

Dumbeldore's eyes roll mysteriously.


End file.
